Word

In my pitiful attempts to study for the GRE I decided to try to learn 25 new vocabulary words a day. That lasted a week. By the end of it I couldn’t remember the first 25. So I downsized – 10 words a day. My head hurt. So now I have a lovely system…I come in to work in the mornings, let someone pick my word of the day (which I write on sticky notes and post them around the office because we all know how much I love sticky notes) and I attempt to work the word into nearly every conversation.

This morning I let Heather choose. “Minion – a hanger-on, a follower.”

The problem with this word is, I’m already too familiar. I’ve had minions for years. I keep them in my closet, my bed, my bath, and my beyond. I call them Men.

At one point in college I capitalized on my “collection” by dressing them in vinyls and leathers and collars and chains and made them carry me around on a sofa while I sang my little heart out in a precariously placed little Elivra-esque black number with fishnets and wicked heels. Sure it was a blatant display of egotistical brilliance, sure it was a little over the top by UT standards, sure it was a Halloween show (oh damn that made it far less interesting didn’t it?) but the point is that it felt good to keep them on a leash.
I’m a bit of a power whore. If ever I were to assume the role of potentate, the world would be in trouble.

I’ve grabbed my handy thesaurus (easy to do, I don’t travel far without one) and my favorite of the synonyms is by far “Sycophant.” Yes yes…I like the way it sounds.
Ok then, today’s first matter of business….find me a sycophant.
Maybe I’ll put a sticky note on the door to my house. It will be pink. It will read,
“Sycophant wanted: Apply Within.”

But don’t bother knocking incessantly on the door, I’m much too craven to open up. Meet me instead at one of the local haunts. I’ll be the tall one with the green eyes and the “come hither” grin and you’ll be the one with the leash. You’ll adore me and I’ll pretend not to notice.

Perfect. I think this is working out nicely