Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10 random things about me...

I realize that my life is filled with the particular type of oddities that one can only hope to read about in the pages of Sedaris or Burroughs. I also know that my writing style is no where near ready to handle such a task.

So....I think I'll stick to rarely blogging and will likely lose the fun memories with the rest of my long-term (read: anything more than an hour ago) memory.


1. In one week I managed to get my second round of IVF cancelled, Ben was laid off of one of his jobs, one of the toilets broke, the garage door broke trapping our cars inside for a day until someone could come fix it, my breaks on my car went out, my windshield cracked and needs to be replaced, the dishwasher caught itself on fire, and I

2. I didn’t even KNOW a dishwasher could catch on fire while on use. Isn’t it full of WATER?

3. I sometimes work as the security guard for my building on evenings when non-company events are planned here. I am not armed with a weapon or a skill. I would simply have to nag the intruders to death. Ben thinks I could do it.

4. If you mix up the "to and from" addresses on a letter it'll come back to you instead of going to your intended recipient. This seems like a "no brainer" but I've managed to do it....twice.


5. I didn’t like Pocohontas or Dances with Wolves. I also didn’t like the Smurfs. Ergo I will not be watching Avatar….ever.

6. I take an orange to work each day so that my health conscious husband will see me attempting something personally health conscious. As a result I now have a mountain of oranges on my desk.

7. Sometimes I like to respond to full office emails by writing a two or three word response followed by a smiley face JUST because another woman in my office does the same thing and I don't think she should be the only one allowed to be irritating.

8. I've learned not to eat anything out of the deli counter at Maceys. That particular shade of pink can not be found anywhere in nature but especially not found in natural foods.

9. I drank a small shot of apple cider vinegar the other night after dinner to settle my acid reflux but my stomach apparently protested the decision because I immediately began projectile vomiting pork loin and asaparagus into the garbarator. Ben was laughing which made me laugh which pissed off my stomach even more and before I knew it my stomach was empty and my reflux was worse. Damn A.C.V.

10. I talk to myself in the shower and don't realize it until my husband asks me if I had been singing in there. "Yes....yes I was....Alanis Morisette..."