Monday, December 7, 2009

10 random thoughts about life...

While I still have a few things fresh on my mind....


1. White Christmas trees don't work in a beige room with beige walls and beige carpets. It just looks dirty. If, by some familial circumstance, you're obligated to keep said white tree up, do not resort to decorating with with purple and blue glittery tulips purchased for 12 cents a piece at last year's "after-Christmas" sale. They will look like cheap tacky (yet glittery) blue and purple vaginas. No matter how you look at it this is NOT an appropriate Christmas theme.

2. Just because a movie has the word "Good" in the title that doesn't mean that it is.

3. The score and libretto for "The Sound of Music" has been sitting on my desk for a week now and everytime I see it I think it says "Book written by Russel Crowe." I can't help imagining what a different show that would have been. Capt'n Von Trapp could have been a chubby greasy haired kiwi with autistic (albeit gladiator-like) tendancies. Maria would have been bored in a matter of minutes.

4. YES I KNOW it's a real story but do you think Russell Crowe really would have cared?

5. Wearing Sketcher's "Shape Ups" may increase the workout to my butt and thighs but it also makes me feel like I'm one of those kids with one leg longer than the others so I have to wear one regular shiny shoe and one thicker and much less attractive shoe. Except in this case I wear them on both feet so it's more like both of my legs are shorter than the other. Yeah.

6.People will give up their Friday nights to watch an old Babs Streisand flick but not their Saturday nights.


7. Southwestern fabric brightens everyone's day.

8. Claning out the office fridge should only be done on a Friday when the building will be vacant for a weekend and the place can be aired out. Children could die from office kitchen fumes.

9. If you're driving down the freeway in the car-pool lane and your spouse is laying in the back of the car with the dogs, people may think you are driving alone. They are, infact, incorrect.

10. It's ok to lie if your bosses support the habit.